Avraham summons his servant Eliezer, the elder of his house and ruler of all of Avraham’s possessions (24:2), to find a suitable wife for his son Yitzchak. Why do we need to know about Eliezer’s control of Avraham’s fiscal matters when that hardly seems relevant to the task at hand?

The Kli Yakar explains that Eliezer’s greatest attribute was not allowing possessions to control or influence him. Eliezer was consistently fair-minded and would not be lured by gifts from prospective suitors for Yitzchak. This mastery of material possessions is a quality that would serve us all well. As long as our world keeps inventing new and distracting toys and devices, we must be careful not to allow them to distract us from or diminish our values, and remain steadfast in our grand pursuits.

Avraham negotiates and (over)pays for the plot of land in which he will bury his wife (23:1-16). It is noteworthy that Avraham never questions G-d’s promise that the land he’s buying is in fact his. According to the Midrash, the Akeida (binding of Yitzchak) is G-d’s tenth and final test for Avraham. Why isn’t this (need to purchase land that was already promised to him) counted as another of Avraham’s tests?

Rav Shimon Schwab proposes that Avraham had reached a level of acceptance such that he would never question events in his life. This inner peace and understanding that whatever happens is part of G-d’s plan for him meant that no obstacles or hardships would be too challenging to accept or overcome. Life happens just as it’s meant to happen, and this acceptance brought an unwavering inner peace to Avraham, and it should do the same for us all.

Our Parsha, Chaye Sarah, records Avraham’s death and attests that he was “in good old age, old and satisfied” (25:8). Considering that Avraham amassed great wealth during his lifetime, why is his being satisfied with what he had mentioned as a positive attribute of his life?

Rabbi Henach Leibowitz explains that while most people are always striving for more wealth in pursuit of perceived happiness, Avraham was always content with whatever he had. Perhaps that is why the Torah tells us that he died in a good old age, and not just old age. The quality of our lives hinges on our attitude and perspective. Despite our challenging past or uncertain future, being happy in the present is the correct path to eternal happiness and satisfaction.

In the week’s Parsha, Chaye Sarah, there lies a hidden story behind the story, with three clues in our Parsha. The first clue is when Rivka first sees Yitzchak, we are told that he is coming from Be’er Lachai Ro-i (24:62), a fact not relevant to the story, and seemingly insignificant. The second clue is that after Sarah’s death and Avraham’s mourning of her passing, while we would expect Avraham to walk into the sunset of his life, we are told that Avraham then married a woman named Keturah and has six children, with no further mention of her or their children. The third clue is that when Avraham did pass away, he was buried next to Sarah by Yitzchak and Yishmael (25:8-10). Where did Yishmael come from, and where has he been until now?

The Midrash pieces together the underlying story, and its meaning. The sages point out that Be’er Lachai Ro-i is the spot where Hagar prayed for her son Yishmael to be saved, and where Yitzchak went to search for Hagar after his mother died, hoping to find his father a wife. They also explain that Avraham did end up marrying Hagar, now named Keturah because “her acts produced frangrance”. Yishmael was present at Avraham’s burial, suggesting that this resulted in Avraham and Yishmael getting along. These facts provide context to their complex relationships, and more importantly, their ability to resolve their differences. May the story of our past provide hope for our future.

Parshat Chaye Sarah records two major transactions, which begs us to wonder about their connection. The Parsha starts with Avraham insisting on paying for his plot of land in which to bury his wife. After much negotiating, Efron agrees to accept payment for the plot. The Parsha then goes into even greater detail describing the efforts of Avraham’s servant in finding a suitable wife for Yitzchak, his son. What’s the connection, other than then technically both being “transactions”?

One possibility is that the dialog of the first transaction could be the requisite to the completion of the second. In other words, Avraham had to understand and negotiate a FAIR transaction where both sides benefit before he could find a wife for his son. This requirement says a lot about what it takes to find a suitable mate: Give. If you find yourself taking more than you’re giving in a given relationship, you need to insist on adjusting it. If any marriage is to work, the first ingredient is mutual respect, which breeds mutual giving. It is this fact that Avraham mastered before venturing to find his son a wife, and it’s this lesson that we should master before venturing to find our own mates or business partners.

Parshat Chaye Sarah records two major transactions, which begs us to wonder about their connection. The Parsha starts with Avraham insisting on paying for his plot of land in which to bury his wife. After much negotiating, Efron agrees to accept payment for the plot. The Parsha then goes into even greater detail describing the efforts of Avraham’s servant in finding a suitable wife for Yitzchak, his son. What’s the connection, other than then technically both being “transactions”?

One possibility is that the dialog of the first transaction could be the requisite to the completion of the second. In other words, Avraham had to understand and negotiate a FAIR transaction where both sides benefit before he could find a wife for his son. This requirement says a lot about what it takes to find a suitable mate: Give! If you find yourself taking more than you’re giving in a given relationship, you need to insist on adjusting it! If any marriage is to work, the first ingredient is mutual respect, which breeds mutual giving. It is this fact that Avraham mastered before venturing to find his son a wife, and it’s this lesson that we should master before venturing to find our own mates or business partners.

Aliya Summary: The descendants of Yishmael are now enumerated. Yishmael is identified fully as the son of Avraham and Hagar the Egyptian maiden of Sara who bore Yishmael to Avraham. This is quite parallel to the description of Yitzchak’s connection to Avraham as stated in the beginning of next week’s Parsha. This might further indicate Yishmael’s Teshuva in his later years.

It is noteworthy that Yishmael fathered twelve sons, not like Yitzchak, but like Yaakov. Yishmael dies at the age of 100 and 30 and 7 years. The wording in the Torah purposely parallels that which was used to describe Sara’s lifespan, a further indication (perhaps) of the change for the better in Yishmael. Rashi says that the age of Yishmael is included to help us compute the chronology of Yaakov.

Aliya Summary: Avraham remarried and fathered several more children. Before his death, however, Avraham gave gifts to his other children and sent them all away, and bequeathed all the rest of his possessions to Isaac. Abraham died at the age of 175, and was buried by Isaac and Ishmael in the cave of Machpela beside his wife, Sarah.

To honor the memory and legacy of his father, Ishmael allowed Isaac to take the lead, understanding that the future of the Jewish people would come from him. That deferral was important to Avraham, and the Gemara deduces is the reason why Avraham lived to a “good” old age. Making peace with family and friends doesn’t just affect the parties directly involved, but those around us/them. This aspect of forgiveness is often overlooked, especially while conflict exists. Sometimes only once we resolve conflict do we really see who we were hurting all along.

Aliya Summary: Rivka’s family celebrates the engagement together with Avraham’s servant. Next morning, the servant insisted on immediately returning to his master with the maiden in hand, and after Rivka agreed, the two set out for Canaan. Isaac married Rivka, loved her, and finally found consolation for the loss of his mother.

The Medrash says that the day Rivka was brought to Yitzchak, he was busy bringing Hagar to Avraham so that he should marry her. Is it a coincidence that he was helping his father with something that he himself then received help with? Or is this a message that if you want help, you should be involved in helping others?

Aliya Summary: Rivka ran to tell her family about the man at the well, and her brother, Lavan, went out, greeted the servant, and invited him to spend the night. The servant told Rivka’s family the purpose of his mission to the city, and recounted the heavenly sign that designated Rivka as his master’s son’s wife. Rivka’s family agreed that the match was divinely ordained, and consented to the proposed match.

It’s interesting to note that in this Aliya the Torah recaps Eliezer recapping the day’s events to Lavan and Betuel. We were told of Eliezer’s plans before they happened, the events themselves were written, and now we get a recap of a recap. Rashi mentions a teaching from Rabbi Acha, who said: “The ordinary conversation of the servants of the Patriarchs is more beloved before the Omnipresent than the Torah of their sons, for the section dealing with Eliezer is repeated in the Torah, whereas many fundamentals of the Torah were given only through allusions.” In fact, some of Eliezer’s words are used in the “Hineni” tefilla recited every Rosh Hashana/Yom Kippur. There is so much for us to learn from the respect and commitment that Eliezer handled himself with.